Lindsey, I so connected with this piece. My southern lady self was raised to be very good and at times martyr-like. And what a nasty web that left me in...It's a daily journey "unsticking" myself.
I wrote my thesis on Arlene Francis, a woman of many successes, but whose primary goal was being liked by everyone. In her 70s when writing her memoir and reflecting on her life, she wrote, "I wish someone had told me when I was little that the whole world doesn't have to think you're adorable." I think of this often.
This piece. Your daughter. I’m crying. Lovely to meet you Lindsey. My son was the first person I felt I could truly be my whole self with, he kicked off my people pleasing recovery, and much of that is inspired by my want to provide a strong example of choosing ourselves (in a non selfish way).
I know you said you don’t need to read anymore books (same) but have you read UNTAMED by Glennon Doyle?
The messages she has for her children are SO POWERFUL.
Thank you so so much for your thoughtful comment. I HAVE read that and it is where I got the idea of “if I avoid disappointing others than I will always disappoint myself.” I read it back in 2020…it keeps popping back up so maybe it’s time for a re-read!
This piece really resonated with me. It's wild to witness all the big and small ways we lose ourselves in attempts to please others...and just how challenging it can be to stop repeating this pattern. This line really hit home: "I’m speaking kindly to the part that wants to bend to others to not break their heart…it’s just that mine gets broken in the process and I am simply no longer made for that."
This people pleasing part is a toughie. I always find this part needs a lot of gentle updating from me. Thank for sharing this with us. So many can relate, I’m sure.
Lindsey, I so connected with this piece. My southern lady self was raised to be very good and at times martyr-like. And what a nasty web that left me in...It's a daily journey "unsticking" myself.
I wrote my thesis on Arlene Francis, a woman of many successes, but whose primary goal was being liked by everyone. In her 70s when writing her memoir and reflecting on her life, she wrote, "I wish someone had told me when I was little that the whole world doesn't have to think you're adorable." I think of this often.
This piece. Your daughter. I’m crying. Lovely to meet you Lindsey. My son was the first person I felt I could truly be my whole self with, he kicked off my people pleasing recovery, and much of that is inspired by my want to provide a strong example of choosing ourselves (in a non selfish way).
I know you said you don’t need to read anymore books (same) but have you read UNTAMED by Glennon Doyle?
The messages she has for her children are SO POWERFUL.
Xx
Thank you so so much for your thoughtful comment. I HAVE read that and it is where I got the idea of “if I avoid disappointing others than I will always disappoint myself.” I read it back in 2020…it keeps popping back up so maybe it’s time for a re-read!
I’ll re-read with you!! 🪷🫶
This piece really resonated with me. It's wild to witness all the big and small ways we lose ourselves in attempts to please others...and just how challenging it can be to stop repeating this pattern. This line really hit home: "I’m speaking kindly to the part that wants to bend to others to not break their heart…it’s just that mine gets broken in the process and I am simply no longer made for that."
This people pleasing part is a toughie. I always find this part needs a lot of gentle updating from me. Thank for sharing this with us. So many can relate, I’m sure.