Curious George had a lot of fun didn’t he? He got into everything and exuded a joyful spirited energy wherever he went. Folks giggled with him and at him. He found himself high up in trees hiding from skunks, eating birthday cake he was not supposed to be eating, and wearing silly Halloween costumes. And word on the street is that a cat got curious and just died…just for exploring.
Maybe being curious got a bad rep…well, for nothing? Let’s curiously revisit curiosity and what it could be
Curious: eager to know or learn something
Take a second and ponder - when did you lose your curiosity? When did you stop exploring things and being interested in people and places and things?
Internal Family Systems theorizes that when we are in our Self-energy- we feel curious about different parts of ourselves and others. We can look at situations with open eyes and hearts.
I feel most seen when someone asks me questions about me; even more so when they’re curious about how something panned out for me that I shared in a previous conversation. When others are curious about me, I feel drawn to them, drawn to creating a friendship and a deeper connection.
When we remain curious during tough conversations we can authentically listen and hear what they’re trying to share with us.
If curiosity eludes us, maybe our filter manages to slant or shift what they’re saying to fit our narrative or what we think they are saying. I wonder how often this causes pain within us and within the person speaking? Humans just want to be heard, right? What if we tried on curiosity to ensure we can really hear what people are trying to tell us?
My Dad taught me about curiosity. He loves people-watching. He was the Dad who was always curious about my friends, what their parents do, what their jobs are, what their life is like. He loves conversing with anyone and everyone and reporting back to us what he learned. He is so interested in other’s lives and dreams and plans. Bearing witness to this provided me with an important life skill that has served me well both personally and professionally. Watching how joyous he is while he learns about others instilled in me the joy of asking questions and observing. How wonderful and lovely it is to truly know others. Without curiosity, I don’t imagine we could ever know others in a deep way.
Curiosity toward my own internal family system has created space for clarity and compassion. When I ask myself questions about what is going on, what I am feeling, or what I need, I can figure out what steps to take next to find myself again.
I hope this weekend you will take a second to pause and try on curisoity.
What if curiosity could bring clarity, connection, and compassion towards those you love most? What if it could ignite a deeper love and respect for your favorite person? Try it on and let me know how it goes.
Check out at All Parts and at Dialoging for more awesome Internal Family Systems goodness.
But wait! There’s more!
Don’t forget about my upcoming Therapy Book Club! Your only job is to not read the book! Hoping to hit publish next week on the first installment!
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My parents are in town. My dad asked me so many questions today and I got annoyed. I’m glad I have your guidance. He’s curious in general. But he’s definitely curious about my life far away from him — where I eat, hang out, spend my time — these question are his way of asking if I’m okay and happy. I’m going to be more patient tomorrow 🤍
That pic and passage of your dad 🥹 it made me realize my dad is like that, too. Even though I know this one, talk about this one with clients, I have to very frequently be reminded of it. Thank you for that.
I appreciate you mentioning me here 🙏🏼